Cleaving

Recently I read Julie Powell’s new book Cleaving: a story of marriage, meat and obsession.  I loved reading her first book Julie and Julia and this new book was okay but not as special as the first book.

Cleavingis another biographical work and it is a personal tale of infidelity and how the author dealt with that. Running away to learn the art of butchery and some independent travel gave her snatches of space to work through her issues.  I loved reading the butchery segments and kind of wished that had been all there was to the book. They were Julie’s relationships and I don’t want to trivialise that but I didn’t feel I really wanted to read about it.

To be fair romance novels mostly bore me and I had to keep reminding myself this wasn’t just another novel but someone’s life.  Usually I enjoy biographies but then that wasn’t the point of this writing either. I guess I just wanted more Julie and Julia and I just didn’t get it.

all aboard the mighty 200

Planet of the dead started like a cross between Tomb Raider and a James Bond film.  All the while I was thinking OMG it’s Zoe Slater.  She was annoying on Eastenders so I wasn’t holding much hope.  Michelle Ryan’s character Christina had an air of smugness and superiority about her right from the start as she robs a gallery of a golden goblet.  She of course in her get-away ended up on the same London route 200 bus as the Doctor.  Did he really need to be eating an Easter egg as he got on the bus?  I know it is the Easter special but it was all a bit naff.

As one would expect the bus enters a tunnel, drives through a hole in the fabric of reality and ends up on another world with 3 suns.  The bossy boots/little rich girl/dominatrix Lady Christine da Souza proclaims herself leader. The bus driver attempts walking back through the hole and is fried, they realise the bus has protected them like a Faraday cage but of course it is now stuck in the sand and then runs out of petrol.

Back on earth UNIT is called in and mad professor/welsh nutter character Malcolm begins his work.  Of course cell phone coverage between earth and the planet is no problem.  Another bus passenger, Carmen (Ellen Thomas who played the acerbic Liz in Teachers), can hear voices, lots of voices of the dead. Christina and the Doctor head off to investigate and run into a couple of human size fly creatures – Tritovore – turns out they crashed on the planet too. The Doctor and Christina soon learn the sand storm heading towards them is actually a swarm of metal sting-ray type creatures which have devoured everything on the planet.

The Doctor explains his pseudo science to Christina with my fave line of the episode when he describes something as a “super clever out of spacey way”.  Anyway, alien tech scavenged from the fly ship, fly-people devoured by the sting-ray creatures the Doctor and Christina race back to the bus.  With the final element – the golden goblet- the bus powers up and levitates back through the wormhole and over London in a very Harry Potter-esque moment.

Gratitude all round – nutty Malcom hugs the Doctor and can’t stop saying I love you, the Doctor seems fine with that but is disgusted when saluted by the UNIT boss.  Predictably at the end Christina wants to join the Doctor, he says no, she is handcuffed for the theft and led away, he relents and pops her handcuffs, she escapes and flies off in the bus.  Meanwhile Carmen tells the Doctors “your song is ending sir”, that it is “returning through the dark” and “he will knock 4 times”.

 I’m just pleased Christina didn’t leave with the Doctor.

Of curious interest is the title of the next episode – The waters of Mars. It is an anagram of both “The masters of war” or “The war of masters”. Coincidence?

written on the cards

I’ve just finished the first of the three new Torchwood books – Pack animals by Peter Anghelides.  I liked it but I wouldn’t say I loved it.  Other Torchwood books I’ve polished off in an evening but this one took several days.  I think it took me time to adjust to where it was in the Torchwood timeline but nice to have the old gang back together again.

The MonstaQuest set of game cards come to life unleashing aliens, beasts, weather events and freakish plantlife upon the people of Cardiff.  Amid much dismembering of bodies and a seemingly rival outfit called Achenbrite, Torchwood eventually save the day.

There are bits of the story you just feel like you’ve read or seen before – the cards coming to life, Ianto as the invisible man. Still, not a bad read.

damn your popularity Matterhorn

I’m thrilled for the Matterhorn that they won Cuisine’s Restaurant of the Year award, but it is messing with my brunch activities.

I love the ‘Horn and I’m a regular for weekend brunches. I like it cos you can always get a table on a Sunday, it is seldom excessively noisy and they make great coffees. The pretentious never find the place since they don’t venture down the hallway and the place always looks closed even when it isn’t.

Sadly, this morning was my worst experience ever. Despite there being only three other tables of diners in the whole place I was told not to sit at any of the ’set’ tables as they were reserved. As a regular I wasn’t impressed. I didn’t voice it loudly like another couple did. Also regulars, they weren’t pleased to be denied their usual table.

The food was delicious as always but the coffee wasn’t the usual creamy latte I’m used to and for the first time I didn’t have a second. One of the things which always impressed my was my water glass was never allowed to get empty, today it did. It was always amused me the way they take your order without writing anything down but never seem to get it wrong, today they had to come back to check. All minor things really.

I’m just going to have to wait till the ‘Horn returns to its old self.

don’t make me sing Barry

Friday night I saw Hellboy II: the Golden Army. It was hilarious. Amply stacked with fighting, mushiness, comedy and fantasy, what more could you want? Guillermo del Toro did a fantastic job and I can’t wait to see what he does with the Hobbit. Ron Perlman as Hellboy has an uncanny resemblance to Ted Danson.

The most touching scene has to be the male bonding between HB and Abe over a few beers. When they start singing “I can’t smile without you” I couldn’t help but hum along. I didn’t want to – that’s Barry Manilow – that’s not right but the song was perfect for that moment in the film. I cringe at the thought of a Barry revival off the back of this film.

My favorite creatures? The tooth faries for sure. Instead of some sweet benevolent creatures which take fallen teeth and leave money behind these little beasties devour you from head to toe, prizing your teeth above all else.

Watch this clip if you dare.

shhhhhhhh!

The Librarians

Have you seen The Librarians? (warning: music starts unannounced) The Middleton Interactive Learning Centre is the setting for ABC’s comedy set in a public library. Frances O’Brien, the head Librarian is cringe-makingly funny.  A little too close to the bone perhaps. Frances is a devout Catholic and has some wonderful quotes:

“God loves all his children, but especially those who return their books on time.”

“The Library is a place for learning, a place for the mind, and not for other parts of the body.”

In a series which plays on stereotypes, though I must admit I haven’t seen a bun and glasses on any of the librarians, Frances brings a whole set of her own.  She asks anyone who looks vaguely middle eastern to leave their backpacks at the counter.  She picks on Nada who speaks “goggledy-gook”, otherwise known as Arabic, with her friends. Lachlan, who mans the circulation desk is dyslexic and seems to have the job solely because Frances fancies him.  Then there’s Christine, the children’s Librarian who’s only after a ‘respectable’ job while she awaits her court appearance on drugs chanrges. Dawn’s in a wheelchair as a result of a team building exercise and Frances having let go of a rope while focussing a little too closely on Lachlan’s butt.

You really should just watch the programme for yourself. The only thing to annoy other than Frances’ accent and intonation – an irritating beep with scene changes.  It is supposed to represent the scanning of books but it just grates after a while.

could it be any happier?

Since I’m almost the last person on the planet to see the Sex and the City movie I’m not sure why I’m writing this – my own amusement maybe. The New York gals, Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda return to the big screen with the various hangers-on in their lives to tie up a few loose ends.  Honestly I thought it was all just a bit too happy.  Sure it had its upsets along the way and that moment they tried to make you think it was all turning out horribly but you just knew the ending was going to be happy.

The film had its quantity of frocks and shoes and the handbag moments you’d expect and threw in a living channel decluttering episode for a twist. Still, it was a little tired around the edges.  The one breath of fresh air was Louise from St Louis and even that they ruined with just a few too many St Louise jokes.  As much as I’d looked forward to it I felt they should’ve left it at the end of the TV series.

cinders on the frosty stuff

OMG $20 for a programme! Are you serious? Apart from the rip-off cost of the programme, Cinderella on Ice was a magical evening. The Imperial Ice Stars are at the beginning of a 2 year world tour so I am pleased to see it before it has become tired. We were sitting in the heavens and roughly in the middle so it wasn’t a bad view of the chorus numbers.

The costumes were amazing – some of them are worth more than NZ$10,000 – that’s amazing considering the amount of use they are going to get. I suspect some of the cost of that is in the special fabrics, the non-slip ones for some of those throws. There weren’t too many un-planned sitdowns in the show.  Just one I spotted and one hand on the ice.

I was fascinated with how they get an ice stage so quickly. The start the stage off with bags of crushed ice and spray it every 15 mins or so till eventually they have 3 inches of ice.  They keep the stage at minus 15 degrees.  On the way in there were notices to keep your coats with you, but sitting way up high we were still pretty toasty. I think it might have been a little cooler down the bottom. You can check out a video of how it is done. Note the swishing ice skating sound if you use the drop down menus on their site.

coffee and allah

More film festival movies today.  Six NZ short films this time. Three were brilliant and three were ho-hum so I just won’t mention those. Roseanne Liang’s Take 3 sees three young Asian actresses auditioning for parts.  There are a couple of classic moments when they are asked to speak with Asian accents and perform Kung Fu moves.

This is her begins with conception and ends with childbirth. During the birth the mother to be flashes back to “that bitch” Kylie, the 6 year old who in twenty years will steal her husband. Directed by Katie Wolfe, this is a black tale of love.

Coffee & Allah

The movie I liked best is Coffee & Allah.  I’d expect to enjoy anything to do with coffee but if you’d told me I’d be raving about a movie featuring badminton, I’d have told you you were nuts. A movie where the dialogue was almost incidental and coffee forged friendships. In fact I wondered what it would be like to watch it with no dialogue and no subtitles.

an accent to make you melt

Stone Rose audio book cover.

It is fair to say I’m a bit of a David Tennant fan. It can also be said that I simply adore a scottish accent.  I can listen to such an accent for hours on end. I’ve just spent a most enjoyable afternoon listening to The stone Rose a Doctor Who audio book.

It was released in 2006 so isn’t new, it is just that I’ve only acquired it recently. 

It is written by Jacqueline Rayner and the story is set, well, mostly set in ancient Rome. Of course with the usual and expected dollops of time travel you spend some time in the modern day and and 2375.  The tender moments between Rose and the Doctor warm your heart though the story is one of those you can almost see coming.  The title does that for a start. There were some cringe making moments as you just knew what was coming next and some “appropriated” themes for the sub stories – the midas touch, aladdin and the magic lamp.  At least the GENIE didn’t only grant 3 wishes, but the fact I was waiting for it sort of spoiled it.

Plot issues aside the thing that makes this a must listen to book is the narrator.  David Tennant read the book doing all voices.  It is a most lovely experience. He narrates in his own scottish accent which also adds to the experience. He has the intonation and speech patterns of Rose done perfectly. The accent I love the most is Rose’s mother Jackie’s. He doesn’t make the voices farcical but captures the character of each person in the story brilliantly.  I wish I’d had David to read me bedtime stories as a kid.